


shine in the night like the diamond you are

by maevestrom



Series: Vildeblume Cafe Collection: FE Femslash July 2019 [6]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Drinking, F/F, First Dates, Fountain, Good ol' Sapphism, Never Have I Ever, Repression, Romantic Experience Anxiety, Sexual Repression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 22:08:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19876849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maevestrom/pseuds/maevestrom
Summary: Day 6: WildflowerEven a drop in the bucket was more than a bucket with nothing in it. On Act 2 of her first date with a beautiful Hoshidan official, Cordelia realizes that even if all she has is instinct, adolescent repression, and wine-drunk ceremonials, she can still find her way into the heart of a more whole self.





	shine in the night like the diamond you are

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to Maeve's Femslash Week project, the Vildeblume Collection! All seven of the upcoming stories will have the hub or launchpad of the fictional Vildeblume Coffeeshop. All of the pairings you will see are (mostly) cross-stories with a Fates character and Awakening character.
> 
> shoutout to gay fates for helping me directly shape this

Cordelia knows what she’s doing.

So why does something feel so wrong about it?

She and her date Kagero have left their dishes upon a table in the cafe that their date started in, the Vildeblume. She’d vaguely known of the Vildeblume’s… well, reputation, and seeing as she entered the date in a more-or-less bicurious state, a cafe with a natural focus on women-led dates seemed about right. Kagero had said that it had been recommended to her by her friend Selena- a brash older redhead chaperoning Kagero who kept giving them a missing-the-obvious smirk that lorded over them with unexpressed knowledge that had chafed Cordelia fiercely- and, honestly, it’s quite like what she gathered about Kagero just from a surprisingly formal hour of dating, to choose an on-the-nose correct place for such a date.

Though she could have picked a better hour. Cordelia had barely any time to go from school to the date, and little was more embarrassing than showing up to your date a twenty-five-year-old in a stuffy school uniform like someone who tried to recapture youth with a lascivious wink. She was grateful that Kagero didn't address it, just gestured to her seat with a cordial flourish.

Cordelia didn’t expect less. Honestly, finding Kagero’s profile on her dating app was a mercy seeing how flustered Cordelia had been using it. So many other women on the app seemed to be less… together. That wasn’t an insult; Cordelia has long been embarrassed by her tendencies to be, well, a stick-in-the-mud that most of these women would laugh off. A naive virginal redhead who would no doubt embarrass herself in front of most of these women, especially if they were anything like Selena. Kagero outright saying that she was an amateur to the dating scene caught her eye before anything. 

Even more appealing was her career as a Hoshidan political assistant- something that, in person, she expanded upon as a process from being a maid and assistant for power players like President Ryoma to an acting ambassador to other nations. Seeing how long Cordelia had spent in political academies trying to figure out her place in the world of Ylisse’s operation, she was immediately drawn to someone doing the same for the overseas nation of Hoshido. Helping inform Cordelia’s choice was how Kagero’s objective beauty in her profile picture was catching in its own right. 

To a scientific level, Kagero would be the ideal first date for someone who not only never dated before, but for someone who was, so to say, dipping her toes in the proverbial water when it came to dating other women.

So why was she having so much trouble?

\---

A short walk away from the Vildeblume was a hideaway park, or something close. Surrounded by the empty walls of a few single-story buildings and lit up only by streetlights, the park held a few benches, cobblestone paths, and a fountain bubbling in the center. When Kagero detoured into it, beckoning Cordelia to follow, she relented, not sure where she was going, what she was doing, and close to disconnecting from reality with the uninhibited, nervewracking newness of the experience. 

If she’s losing herself, she must be losing Kagero. Cordelia was more nerves than intrigue throughout that entire night anyways. She has to think hard and fast. What would girls like them like to do together? True, she hadn’t had any experiences with other women- the closest she could get was the nightmarish school sleepover nights with girls all more beautiful than her, but those were ages ago. 

Still, a drop in the bucket is more than a bucket with nothing.

“Do you know  _ Never Have I Ever _ ?”

Kagero sits on a bench, Cordelia following. “I am vaguely familiar with it.” With a rankled nose: “It can get pretty juvenile at times, though.”

“Ugh, it can.” Cordelia remembers all the games where she raised her hand in retaliation at the prompts of the far more… experienced girls, and altogether did not care to lower it. “Then we simply don’t let it go there. We’re very mature young women.” 

Kagero smiles. “I’m very glad that you think so.” Cordelia nods with a smile, pleased with a surprising amount of zeal. Kagero turns to Cordelia. “You may kick us off.”

Cordelia thinks. Start off tame. Do not freak her out from the start. “Never have I ever traveled.”

Kagero keeps her hand down. 

“Oh, goodness- you’re from Hoshido. I’d not considered that.”  _ How stupid of me. Cordelia, you are off to a great start. _

Kagero nods with the ghost of a smile. “That is true. I’d technically had to travel to enter Ylisse. I decided to, at the very least, include times where I’d traveled temporarily. We’d been to Nohr multiple times. Traveling for short periods of time is part of the job.”

Cordelia nods back. “That’s true. I’ve never had the opportunity to leave Ylisse. I’d been too focused on my schooling.” 

“Truly?”

“It can get a little consuming.” Especially with how much Cordelia throws herself into it.

“I don’t know if I put in the same focus on my own education,” Kagero muses. After a second of visible thought: “Never have I ever had a library in my room.” She raises her hand. 

Cordelia doesn’t. “I do so love to read,” she admits. “There’s something truly fascinating about being transported to a different world with words alone. It’s…” She sighs dreamily, trying not to get lost in it all. “Well, you probably know what I mean.”

Kagero nods with a sympathetic smile. Cordelia’s puzzled; she’d not meant anything that required sympathy. “Would you like to go next?”

Cordelia went next. 

She was quickly made to regret that. 

While the game in prior years embarrassed her for highlighting all that she didn’t do, the game with Kagero inadvertently revealed all that Cordelia did not do as well as she wanted. Worst of all, it was a fire that Cordelia lit that started to catch her. Kagero was mild- have you been to a festival? (No; a shame, if Hoshidan harvest festivals live up to Kagero’s hype.) Does someone have mementos of you? (No- go figure that Kagero is an amazing painter.) Have you ever ridden in a limousine? (Yes, but honestly Cordelia remembers nothing about it other than her own intimidation.) Other little questions that Cordelia got nowhere being asked. 

Meanwhile, what did Cordelia know other than her own limitations? Kagero had gotten straight As in one semester- something like mathematics always sullied her schooling with a B. Cordelia’d never been to prom; who would she go with? Kagero had, even though she looked unimpressed and asked her next question too quickly. Cordelia’d tried to have academic papers published in school, but apparently, she was not good at an impartial voice. Kagero seemed almost embarrassed as she couldn’t deny her own successes. She couldn’t even be accomplished without being modest. 

Maybe she shouldn’t have come here. Maybe she shouldn’t have bothered. This was a mistake and an even bigger one for Kagero. Her latest question caught her off guard, even quantified by a warning that it would get a little spicy. As if to shine a light on their differences: “Never have I ever had a crush on anyone.” 

With no shyness, she’d raised her hand and Cordelia couldn’t even lie and raise her own. Twenty-five years of emotional celibacy  _ would  _ be preferable to twelve years of various unrequited crushes that went all the way up to the now-current chancellor of Ylisse, Chrom. Even as inexperienced as Cordelia is, her hypothetical game would overwhelm Kagero with how often she shoots for the stars.

Kagero smiles sympathetically, wounded at Cordelia’s transparent frustration. “I apologize if this got a bit too personal.”

“You’d never had a crush before?” Cordelia can’t imagine. She almost doesn’t believe Kagero.

“Not really to my recollection,” Kagero admits, though she seems a little uncertain. “The romantic situations I’d prior found myself in were… spontaneous. Feelings grew as the dating happened. They hadn’t really happened before… nor were they very strong when they happened, I’ll admit.”

Cordelia sighs. She can’t imagine that they’re very strong now. Not when Cordelia is such a mess and Kagero is so infuriatingly perfect. Damn this woman. It would drive Cordelia nuts before the night ended if she was not at least slightly humbled somewhere closer to where Cordelia was. 

With a slight huff and a cocked eyebrow, she sees the fountain across from her and asks “Never have I ever fallen face-first into a water feature.” She raises her hand daringly.

Kagero looks at the fountain with a discerning eye, and Cordelia watches her hands with dedication. They tremble, and one looks to go up but falls again with indecision. Cordelia would probably jump in the fountain itself if the hand raised at all.

Then: “Do creeks count as water features?”

Cordelia giggles. “I’ll count it. Thank the Gods.”

Kagero gasps. “It happened years ago, I’ll have you know. Kimonos can be very easy to trip on.” Cordelia gets lost in the giggle-zone at her blushing impertinence. “The fact that I had never tripped in a nearby creek bed before this is impressive in its own right!”

“You said this happened years ago?”

“Six years ago.”

“ _ You’re twenty-four! _ ” Cordelia laughs freely. Kagero blushes, head on one hand, and Cordelia jumps at the expression on her face. “Are you  _ pouting?” _

“Never have I ever worn a schoolgirl uniform in my twenties.” A petulant hand-raise. 

Cordelia’s the one to blush. “Honestly, Kagero?” Cordelia was never one for the given clothes, as modest as they were for what she’s heard about those types of uniforms. “Oh, well. Fair’s fair, I suppose.”

Then she smirks. 

“Never have I ever worn a maid uniform.”

“Damn it!” Kagero slaps her lap hard enough to tear into the fabric of her pantsuit. “I’d not known you would use the information I gave you for such treachery.”

“ _ Treachery _ , Kagero? Honestly?”

Cordelia allows an impish grin and waits for Kagero to notice her hand. 

“...honestly?”

Cordelia folds her hands; easy to do when they are already laid down. “It was for a performance” she claims. “I… had some foolish ideas of how I would win the affections of some of the men in that play.” Really, all of her attempts to catch Chrom’s eye… just plain shouldn’t count.

Kagero clears her throat. “Having dated a man before, I can say that they probably were not all that foolish.” Though the way her eyes have narrowed in a slightly deviant way makes Cordelia wonder if she herself is trying not to visualize it. Probably not- she wasn’t exactly a sight that day.

“Yes. I… well, never have I ever been on a date before,” Cordelia admits, hand raised flippantly. “Much less having been in a relationship.”

Kagero cocks her head. “You’ve not?”

Cordelia shakes her head. Confessing that took a lot from her, placing her in a less-than-pleasant mood. Even moreso, Kagero does have some romantic experience- maybe not the type relevant here, but still, a drop in the bucket is more than a bucket with nothing.

“Pardon my frankness, but I struggle to believe that.”

Cordelia clears her throat. “You truly think so?”

“I do. Once you get out of your shell, you are a joy to talk to.” With some hesitation: “Though I suppose that you trying to embarrass me was you getting me to do the same?”

Cordelia bows her head. “It was rude of me, I apologize. I just… get sensitive about feeling like the only childish one at times.” She didn’t plan on telling Kagero this much, but if nothing else, she wants to justify herself. Kagero is a fine lady and deserves to know that Cordelia was not just being vicious. Or something like that, she supposes.

Kagero chuckles. “I  _ can  _ be rather unapproachable. Besides, you more than leveled the playing field by the end, Cordelia. I can let it pass. I’m not usually one for being embarrassed, but… I’ll trust you.”

“You will?” Cordelia perks up, hand on her heart. She’s not used to being trusted with secrets. None of her friends really give her that sort of leash, nor does she have a best friend that she can give her secrets to. Kagero may have meant little with that concept, but to Cordelia, it means a lot. “Even after that?”

If Kagero is intimidated by the magnitude of Cordelia’s reaction, she doesn’t show it. “You might be good at getting secrets out of people, true, but… you’ll also take them to the grave. I admire that.”

“I admire  _ you. _ ” 

As embarrassed as Cordelia is, she doesn’t take it back.

Never has she ever been quite as bold as she has been tonight.

\---

“A person who embarrasses easily doesn’t buy a bottle of wine.”

Kagero doesn’t pay her mind as she pops the cork, which flies into the air and lands in the fountain they’re sitting at the edge of. Their trip into a nearby organic grocery store finds them with bags of trail mix- Cordelia’s favorite food to treat herself with- and a small bottle of rosé wine that raised Cordelia’s eyebrows the second she realized that it’d made the register, and honestly, her eyebrows may not have lowered the entire time. 

Kagero takes a sip, wincing as it goes down. “The first drink always goes down a little sharply, so be warned.” She hands the bottle to Cordelia. “I’m more than willing to share.”

Cordelia looks at the bottle. Never has she ever drank alcohol. Even at her twenty-first birthday party, she thought of all of the headaches and hangovers that her friends had suffered in the past and found it no way to celebrate- though the others drinking around her and generally exiting the plane of reality that she was on did not make for a fun party in its own right.

Helpfully, Kagero adds “Rosé isn’t too potent. This will loosen us up, but not completely inebriate us.” 

Cordelia sighs and, plugging her nose, takes a gulp. It burns her throat so badly that some slips from her mouth, forcing her to cough like her lungs were being physically assaulted. Kagero tries to stifle a laugh, saying “Goodness, Cordelia. You  _ do _ know that you’re supposed to take sips, correct?”

“I-  _ cough _ \- I do-  _ cough cough cough _ \-  _ now _ .”

Kagero looks at the bottom and the half-inch of wine that Cordelia consumed. “Goodness, I might have to cut you off already.”

Cordelia wonders for a second if she’s serious. After that second: “Haha, very funny, Kagero.”

Kagero smiles, stars in her eyes. “Be warned that the effects will take place shortly after you drink enough. If you were hoping for something gradual, well…” She shrugs. 

“You figured out that I don’t drink?”

“Somehow.” Then she smiles again. Taking her phone out of her pocket, she puts on some music with only a couple of clicks. “I hope you don’t mind, Cordelia. I made sure to pick an agreeable station.”

“I don’t suppose you had it ready.”

Kagero smiles sneakily and refrains from comment. Some lighthearted pop music can be heard from the phone, tinny and shrill- though the more Cordelia sips from the bottle, trading off with Kagero and nibbling on small pieces of trail mix- the more mellow and relaxing that the music is. Though most of them are songs that Cordelia only knows in passing- the few others being guilty additions to her playlists- she’s fine with them. 

“How long have you been in Ylisstol?” she asks. 

Kagero finishes her sip with a tight swallow. “Were I to count the months, well… I feel like  _ months  _ says it all. It was an ambassadorship, but I had decided that I would rather stay here and settle down if I could help it, so they transferred me to the Hoshidan embassy here in Ylisstol, as well as allowing me to be a caretaker to President Sumeragi's youngest sister..” 

Cordelia nods. She makes work sound like an honor. “How do you like it here?”

Kagero thinks. “It is… different. To be honest, a tad bit unnerving. Hoshido was very rigid in tradition. Many of the places I have been in the nation do things now quite similar to how they once did. In contrast, Ylisse is more…” Kagero thinks of a proper word. It takes her too long, and Cordelia is worried that she lost her. 

“More?”

“Aimless.”

Cordelia’s eyes widen. “Really?”

Kagero smiles with a little something extra. “I mean, the parts that I saw, there’s more of an emphasis on personal freedom. That’s certainly respectable, but it also means that I am… not sure what to do with myself. Settling down feels like… it will take some figuring out just to get there.”

Cordelia blinks. “I like that Ylisse. I’d like to visit someday.”

“I’m going to guess that you disagree with that assessment.”

Cordelia takes another sip, setting down the bottle a little too hard. “It just isn’t my experience. I’ve been at this academy for second education for what seems like decades, to be honest. We’re set to be government officials ourselves, though to be honest…” She gulps. “It’s been a ride. The culture of the academy is one of rigidity, of professionalism, of training… I suppose, perfect people, and in many ways, that requires a lack of individuality.”

Kagero nods sadly. “I’ve experienced that. The job as a representative of Hoshido, as well as working directly under some of its officials… it comes first. You are Hoshido first…” With a grimace: “And often second, third, and fourth too.”

“That’s the worst,” Cordelia muses. “A lot of the students sneak around it. They’re a bit rebellious in ways that… I guess represent a lot of repressed childhoods. I’ve never really been that type, yet… I strangely admire those who are. At the same time, it makes me sad.”

“How so?”

“This is the first time many of them have really discovered themselves… and it’s still concealed from others… and that’s just…” Cordelia clenches her fist as she realizes it's not a  _ them  _ thing anymore, but an  _ us  _ thing. “It’s not right.”

It’s silent for a few seconds. Cordelia may be crying. When Kagero places a hand on her shoulder, she knows that she is, but quietly enough to poorly mask it with words. “Maybe we should have bought a second bottle.”

“My alcoholic experiences tell me that it wouldn’t make us less emotional.”

Cordelia snorts. Somehow she manages to repress the barb that  _ at least it would make me forget. _

“I’m not sure what I am to do,” Cordelia admits. “The strongest feeling is that I am considering training for the Ylissean air force. Which is… scary. It makes everything not feel…” She doesn’t finish that whole thought. If she does, she will not come back. 

Kagero reaches across the minimal space between them and hugs Cordelia until the quiet tears dissipate. When Cordelia hears Kagero sniffle, she returns the hug for a few minutes. The fountain bubbles behind them, and there is little wine in the bottom while a fair bit is in her system. The whole date has turned a bit messy and juvenile… but strangely, it feels a little like they are making up for all of the years they sacrificed to their paths.

“I do think that we are doing the right things,” Kagero says into Cordelia’s ear, breath of the words on her skin. “No matter what happens with the outcome.”

“I truly hope so.”

Kagero lets her go, and the emptiness in the space where she was is surprisingly potent. “I can only come up with a spontaneous idea to… I suppose, cement this shift. If you can trust... “ Kagero blushes. “Wine-drunk ceremonials.”

_ Wine-Drunk Ceremonials  _ seems like a fantastic name for something artistic. Cordelia gazes at Kagero with a stronger admiration than before. Kagero decides to place her hand in the roaring fountain for a few moments. “I propose that we cleanse ourselves. Whether we keep with it or not, or whether we regret it in the morning… we deserve a few moments to shine. We owe it to ourselves.”

Cordelia feels the power of Kagero’s words and stands up. She’s a little too wobbly at first, and Kagero giggles. Not the sort of giggle that pokes fun at Cordelia’s overbearing chasteness, but… it’s affectionate this time. Perhaps it was all along. Perhaps Cordelia didn’t believe it. That she was adorable enough to be affectionate towards. That she deserved it. That she deserved to want it.

“Let’s do this before I change my mind,” she says flippantly. 

Kagero smiles and extends her hand in. Cordelia does the same, taking tiny steps closer to her.

The water is unforgivingly cold. It awakens Cordelia for a few moments. She feels a tinge of cleanliness overcome a body that feels sickeningly coated in something sterile. It isn’t enough for her, and she kicks a flat off of her feet, stepping into the fountain. The pool is barely more than ankle-deep, but the fountain spurts across her body. On Kagero’s phone, the song proclaims that  _ nothing feels better than this _ , and whatever the singer is going on about, he’s right.

“Come on in, Kag!” Cordelia smiles cheekily. “The water’s fine!” 

Kagero giggles sharply, stepping in. As she does, as she smiles and allows a hint of wetness blossom into something that darkens the shade of her pantsuit, Cordelia’s gaze towards her softens. Now, however, Cordelia sees her in a more particular light- the easily embarrassed, overly loquacious, the secretive shyness and unassuming understanding of the concepts that evaded Cordelia her entire life… 

No. It still isn’t enough. 

Kagero being beautiful and well-presented was a given- that and her profession is what caught Cordelia’s eye enough to schedule the date in the first place. Yet, that was far too scientific, Cordelia trying to find whether or not there was a woman that would catch her eye, complete this sort of haphazard jigsaw puzzle. The more Cordelia has let that go, let her need to be a perfect Ylissean wash away in the water, the more she has seen the honey melt in Kagero’s eyes, seen both the softness in her skin and the tautness in her muscles, has wanted to tousle the perfectly orderly hair in her ponytail, the less she has really been able to rationalize her physical attraction as envy more than desire. She would have envied Kagero before. Now, she wants her rather desperately. 

As the water washes away the last vestiges of the Cordelia that she would like others to know, she realizes how beautiful Kagero’s smile is- warm, understanding, comforting, inviting. As the two women tiptoe so close to each other that they’ve bid a final farewell to personal space, Kagero’s smile encompasses Cordelia, and now that she realizes its beauty, she quite oddly would very much like the Hoshidan Embassy Worker to do different things with her lips.

“Never have I ever looked like more than a wet dog drenched in water,” Kagero says with an intoxicating mix of embarrassment and daring, hand raised.

Cordelia forces her hand down before holding it, looking her directly in the eyes.

“Liar.”

Cordelia had always been a reader. She always enjoyed living vicariously through fictional characters with far more exciting lives than hers. Perhaps that explained her draw to romantic fiction. Even though she struggled to imagine a world where she felt the things they did, even as she tried, she loved the inherent worship in much of the writing. She loved the moments that seemed… perfect, but perfect in the best possible way.

As she indulges in her first kiss ankle-deep in a rushing fountain whilst in the tender arms of a kind, beautiful woman, a muted voice in the back of her mind tells her that now she is in a storybook, but… perhaps this is not the time to overthink things, and just see where her story takes her.

\---

Cordelia isn’t quite accustomed to this.

On a lot of obvious levels, she’s not. She’s not a drinker, and even though it hasn't hit her hard,  _ slightly tipsy _ is more than any level of drunk she’s ever been. Cordelia also isn’t used to a dirty uniform- though it’s only wet from the fountain, she’s used to never letting anything touch it that she cannot immediately get off. She’s not used to the music playing, or how Kagero is even accessing the station in the first place, but she already knows that this song about wildest dreams will be a guilty pleasure, and she’s already tapping her foot in rhythm in errant moments. She especially isn’t quite accustomed to this kiss- it’s chaste and kind, long-lasting though not nearly long enough, and Cordelia is giving as much as she is receiving, but it’s still her first kiss, even at twenty-five years old, and it’s not like Kagero is much better.

Oh, yeah, that’s the other thing she’s not accustomed to- how right it feels to kiss a woman.

Which, to be fair, she always felt that coming to such a conclusion when she had never kissed  _ anyone  _ was somewhat of an assumption- something Cordelia has never put faith in. This is her first kiss- Kagero has in the past dated and likely have been intimate with a man- and by the Gods, she cannot figure out how Kagero could even stand it. How a man’s touch did not burn her is something Cordelia cannot even play at comprehending. With no disrespect to men, Cordelia could not find any sort of intimacy from a single man to ever,  _ ever  _ be better than this kiss. Not even from Chrom. 

Cordelia can’t quite put her finger on why- is it Kagero’s skin? Well, her lips are very luxuriously smooth, as was her hand just before this moment. Perhaps it is her consideration- she always imagined intimacy as a competition, yet Kagero is happy to be taken from as much as she is taking. Perhaps still, she knows that Kagero is enviously beautiful- brunette hair shading one eye and flowing to her waist, considerable muscles confined within a deceptively lean frame- come to think of it, however, Cordelia is not envious. She never has been envious of attractive girls as much as she thought. She just… wanted this.

Kagero pulls away, concern in her eye. She’s moving around to sit in front of Cordelia, as they had found their way back to the fountain edge. With a look of surprisingly inherent fear, she asks “Is… is something wrong, Cordelia? You've slowed.”

Cordelia blinks. “No. No! Definitely not! I just…”

Kagero bows her head, as if ashamed. “If this is going too fast for you, then you are free to say something. I hope never to make you think that you are not able to revoke consent.”

That word hits Cordelia in the eye. Something does, at least. Perhaps it’s the moonlight, perhaps it’s the wine, perhaps it’s the look in Kagero’s eye. No, it is probably, in fact, the word  _ never.  _ Something in it uncages whatever nerves that Cordelia locked up over the whole two and a half decades of her life, and she wants to run off of a cliff and shoot back up as a sky full of fireworks.

“Never?” she repeats, eyes widening. 

She kisses Kagero on the lips. 

“So, not this time?” 

“No,” she breathes.

She kisses Kagero again. Lips still close to her face. “This time?” Kagero can only chuckle her answer, husky and wine-drunk. “What of this one?” Another kiss on Kagero’s lips, who starts giggling even with Cordelia’s lips on her mouth, kissing her over and over again, asking if this time is still the same, and eventually Kagero stops giving any sort of answer that is not a return of each kiss, until the breaks are only short enough for breath, until there are no breaks at all, until Kagero wraps her arms around Cordelia’s waist and Cordelia’s brain completely switches off. 

More than anything else she’s feeling, she loves the silence.

\---

“Now you know how it feels.” Kagero’s as smug as she’s ever been: not very, but still noticeable.

“At the very least, I think I made my point clear.”

Kagero pushes her, giggling. 

“Are you sure that you want to do that?” Cordelia responds, lightly pushing back. “I could end up taking another dip in the drink.”

Kagero nudges her a little lighter, seeing as they are on the edge of the fountain. “Water is good for you.”

Cordelia pushes back. “I believe at this point my body is, like, sixty percent water.”

Kagero pushes her again in this apparent war of the two six-year-olds. “The human body  _ is  _ sixty percent water!”

Damn it, Cordelia was proud of that joke. “Oh! More than that, then!”

Kagero laughs. “I’m a little surprised that you aren’t a small percentage of head trauma after that fall.” 

“I have a very hard head,” Cordelia brags. “I can take it.”

“Hard-headed is how I would describe you.”

Cordelia giggles. “Hey now! I’ll have you know that I am usually never this stubborn!”

“Oh, so you were saving this for me, were you?” Cordelia pouts playfully at Kagero’s cajoling, causing her to “Ooh!”

“I’m having too much fun for this night to end!” Cordelia admits. “I’ve never felt this, like… free.” 

Kagero’s face gets a little stonier, but to little avail- she seems too disarmed to be as serious as she’d like. When Cordelia’s face sees hers, her breath vacates her body. Vulnerable like this- a slight tear in the right leg of her pantsuit, hair down and scattered against her back with only performative fringe over her eye, a wine-drunk heat in her skin, and an everything-will-change look of fear in her honey-gold eye… Kagero is positively real. She is positively beautiful, but it is the beauty of a real woman who finds Cordelia at least a tenth as pleasing as she finds Kagero in kind.

“Kagero,” Cordelia begins. Cordelia hates improvisation, especially over something so important, but she cannot think of a set of words, so she just says the next ones on her mind every time. “I have learned a lot about myself tonight. It might be why I have been acting a fool, but honestly…” With a terrified laugh: “as  _ naive _ as I’ve been tonight, you’ve been very good to me- both to keep my head straight and to act a fool with me when I wanted to. That’s why tonight has been fun. I, uh…” Cordelia scratches the back of her head. “I learned that I, uhm… that is to say…”

Kagero waves it off. “I have too. I think Selena was trying to prove a point to me.”

Cordelia giggles. “Well, I hope she succeeded!” A sentence she was sure that she’d never say until now. “Cause… I think you’re incredibly attractive. I think the things I felt tonight are real, and they’ll last. And if I acted a little silly tonight, it’s because… I guess I just couldn’t believe that this kind of… euphoria… was a thing." 

A few seconds of silence go by. "That, and we were a little tipsy." 

Cordelia throws her hands up. "Yes, but I'd felt that pointing that out would ruin the moment." Looking Kagero dead in the eye, where she decidedly does not look as anxious or terrified- nervous, yes, but endeared- she concludes "I do think that you're one rad lady, Kagero, and I'd like to see you again." 

Kagero holds a hand to her chest. "That's… possibly the most romantic request for a second date that I've ever heard." 

Cordelia beams. "That's good! I, uh, don't get much practice. I don't even really date, like, in general.” 

"Nor do I,” Kagero responds. 

"A drop in the bucket is worse than a bucket with nothing in it."

Kagero smiles. "I'll be sure to keep that in mind. You yourself… you did well. I enjoyed our time together and our dynamic. Once you started to accept me as me…" Kagero spaces out before clearing her throat. "I enjoyed myself a lot more… and I also sort of enjoyed that I was your date." 

Cordelia wonders how many dates it will be before Kagero fully enjoys being hers. 

Hopefully, they have all the time in the world to figure it out.

\---

When they return to the Vildeblume, Selena looks as smug as she expected until, well, she didn't. A soaked twenty-five-year-old schoolgirl and a skin-flushed woman in a torn pantsuit and lipstick stain on her cheek tend to either start or stop a conversation, depending on who and where they are. 

" _ Ka-ger-OH! _ " Selena gets up and runs to her, whose hand is still laced into Cordelia's own. "Glad to see that you loosened the hell up for once!" 

"Thank you, Selena." Kagero doesn't act beleaguered. She doesn't even sigh in contempt. Maybe that's why Selena likes her so much- Kagero so rarely points out the shortcomings of others. “I’m very thankful that you encouraged me to go.”

“Told you you’d dig it.”

The young ginger waitress stands near Selena. “Okay, Sev, for real, that’s the one happy lesbian couple in this entire cafe. Let’s let them have their shit together and suffer over here, okay?”

Even though Severa backs off and lets the women have their moment, she glares back at the waitress. “Okay, bitch, listen up, you haven’t earned  _ Sev  _ privileges, okay?”

Kagero giggles, briefly bending towards the table. “I do love her,” she admits. “Venom and all.”

“I can tell,” Cordelia responds, even though she isn’t sure  _ why.  _

Kagero hands her a book. “You’d admitted to reading a lot, correct?” Cordelia nods eagerly. “Have you heard of this one?”

Cordelia reads the title.  _ The Honorable One  _ does not ring a bell, and the description on the back also sounds unfamiliar. Still, it piques her interest. A medieval setting where a former honorable thief is forced to work under the government military and slowly grows feelings for the lead knight? Not only that, but both leads are women? The possibilities are endless, reminding Cordelia of why she loves reading.

“I am unfamiliar with it, but with your permission, I’d love to get to know it better.”

Kagero smiles knowingly. Looking behind her: “Perhaps you should know it by the second date. I’m borrowing it from Selena.” Hand in her pockets, slyness in her grin: “Possibly unbeknownst to her.”

Cordelia giggles, tipsy enough not to return the book out of fear. “You’re quite the prankster when you want to be.”

“As long as I have a good reason, yeah.” 

Cordelia beams light into the universe. Perhaps before this evening, she’d leave thinking that Kagero is perfect and be dismissive, even derisive, of the fact. Yet, after everything that happened tonight, all of her flaws and missteps be damned, Kagero is perfect for who Cordelia is right now and where she needs to go. She was right- come what may, Cordelia deserves to see where this brings her.

The two of them kiss once more, a goodnight kiss that allows a break but not an ending. Cordelia meets her honey-gold eyes with life in her own.

“I look forward to getting to know you better.”

The possibilities seem endless for that as well.

**Author's Note:**

> The song referenced here is Better by Khalid. The song that also plays is Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift. This whole thing was just a nice serotonic experience to write.


End file.
